🔗 Share this article

Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, especially in relation to football. It was quite amusing to learn that an online journalist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs in his house. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who understood the bathroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the Italian striker entered a community college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then came in and was asking directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit from the England national team after a brief chat within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. As Davies recalls in his journal, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies tried desperately to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Merely one possibility emerged. The restroom stalls. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way in the quarter of a century since. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers have long disappeared, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists called ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|